


Lost in the Woods

by Lispman_Briton



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: College AU, i remembered that over the garden wall exists so i decided to quickly do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 14:59:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16704709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lispman_Briton/pseuds/Lispman_Briton
Summary: Zoeya and Nilesy get lost in the woods, and a strange, shadowy, antlered figure pursues them. Rated M for 'Mister Lispman has no idea what qualifies as mature so he's not risking it.'





	Lost in the Woods

Zoeya hummed joyfully as she passed through the several beams of light penetrating the forest canopy. A small bird flew overhead, and sang as it passed. A squirrel, alarmed by the human's presence, scampered up a tree. Zoeya was on a search for a very special gift for herself; mushrooms. But not any mushrooms, she was on a search for  _Amanita muscaria,_ which sounds like some fantasy spell, but is in fact Zoeya's favourite species of fungus. Muscaria mushrooms were gross to others, but a treasure to this avid toadstool-hunter. It's bright red cap was a true sight to behold, and the small white spots were like stars in the sky. Zoeya had already collected several  _Amanita muscaria_ and had stored them in her messenger bag. As the sun slowly set and the sky turned to a glorious myriad of colours, she began to sing.

 

 

" _I want to find a mushroom, a mushroom with a red cap and white spots and... Something something something!_ " She chanted, most likely causing one or two birds to fly far away and never return. 

 

 

The human's song was interrupted by a rather curious sight: A small white rabbit carrying a large muscaria in it's mouth! Zoeya wanted, needed, and quite frankly  _loved_ that mushroom at first sight. She began to sprint as fast as her legs would allow, ignoring the alarm on her phone informing her of impending night. She chased the animal far off of the dirt path, leaping over logs and rocks as she did, and barely missed an unfortunate trip at the hands of a protruding root. The rabbit bounded down a hill, and Zoeya followed, barely keeping her balance as she closed the distance. But suddenly her foot slammed into a rock, sending her flying through the air and more importantly making her lose sight of the rabbit. She slammed into the mud once more and began rolling down the elevation uncontrollably, smashing into roots, rocks and ridges as she tumbled. By the time she splashed into the stream at the foot of the hill, she was unconscious.

 

* * *

 

 

Nilesy whistled happily as he strode along a forest path. A crow flew overhead, cawing angrily as it passed, and raising the unease within the human. Nilesy was on a mission: His roommate, Martyn, had told him to get familiar with the nearby woods, and that doing so would make him a better... Something. Nilesy wasn't really listening past the initial order. He spotted something shiny out of the corner of his eye, and was immediately captivated with the idea of finding it. 

 

Suddenly, he heard leaves rustling, getting closer and closer to him.

 

"H-Hewwo? Who's there?" He stammered as his heart rate raised to approximately Too Much BPM. As the movement got closer and closer, Nilesy froze in fear, as it became apparent that it was no human, but a wild pig! Nilesy remembered Martyn mentioning the presence of boars in these woods, and it became very obvious very quickly that they weren't as friendly as regular pigs. The animal's tusks glimmered as the light reflected off of them, and that was Nilesy's signal to get the hell out of dodge. He began sprinting as fast as his weak legs could go, and after around seven seconds, his body began screaming at him to take a break. He couldn't. The boar was charging after him and this mixture of terror and tiredness caused Nilesy to lose his footing.

 

He was launched into the air and down a steep hill, hitting his head as he slammed back into the ground. He kept rolling and rolling, and by the time he was stopped by a large tree, he was out cold.

 

* * *

 

 

Surprisingly, Zoeya awoke from her slumber in the river. She rubbed her eyes and was immediately struck with two sensations: Almost all of her body ached, and the lower half of her body was wet. She scanned her surroundings to find that she was slumped on a log, and the log was in a river, taking her far downstream. Her legs were submerged in the icy water, and her arms were covered in cuts and bruises.

 

"My mushrooms!" She cried out upon the realisation of the absence of her messenger bag. It felt like the was missing something, and when she looked at the sky the realised what that something was. The sun was gone, and the moon stood triumphantly in it's place. Zoeya screamed. She didn't like the dark.

 

After a quick and cold swim to the shore, Zoeya began to realise the danger of her situation. She was cold, wet, alone, and lost in the woods. A million possibilities began to whizz through her head.  _What if a mountain lion hunts me down? What if a bear tears me limb from limb? What if I slowly freeze to death? What if a tree falls and crushes me to death? What if a snake bites me and I die a horrible death?_

 

Zoeya began to cry.

 

"Hello." A strange voice spoke, causing Zoeya to scream again. 

 

"Hello?" Zoeya struggled to muster the words through her fear.

 

"Are you lost?" The voice asked. It was rather deep, and something about it was just  _not quite right._

 

"Y-Yes."

 

"Come, wayward soul. I shall show you the way."

 

Zoeya felt a cold breeze, and a looming, shadowy figure appeared before her. It's silhouette-like appearance and it's curling antlers shook Zoeya to the bone, and she instantly hopped to her feet and sprinted away. As she turned to look behind her as she ran, she slammed into something. Upon further inspection, this something was, in fact, her friend Nilesy. 

 

"Z-Zoeya? What are you doing here?" He questioned. Nilesy was also covered in bruises and small cuts, and his glasses were cracked. 

 

Zoeya grabbed Nilesy's arm and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, Nilesy, run!" She ordered, continuing her sprint shortly after. Nilesy watched her departure confusedly, wandering what she was on about. Then he felt a cold breeze, and snapped around to see the strange entity coming closer.

 

"Wait for me, Zoeya!" He screamed as he pushed his body to the limit, and ran after his friend.

 

* * *

 

 

The terrified pair came to a rest under a large oak tree. "I think we lost it." Nilesy panted in exhaustion.

 

It began to rain.

 

"I... I'm gonna freeze to death!" Zoeya panicked, as she felt herself getting colder and colder. She began to cry. Her tears adding to the water falling down.

 

"That monster's gonna get me!" Nilesy also began to panic, as his mind began racing in all angles. He began to cry as well.

 

The tears in their eyes made them blissfully unaware of the shadowy figure's reappearance. It was closing in on them. When it was only a few feet away from the lost souls, a loud snap was heard. It had stepped on a twig. Zoeya and Nilesy saw the creature in an instant. And both screamed.

 

"Do not fret, humans." The entity spoke. It only scared the two more. 

 

Suddenly, a rush of adrenaline surged within Nilesy, and he stepped forward toward the monster. "Leave us alone!" He yelled, receiving nothing but a swift punch to the face in return. Nilesy began to cry once more.

 

" **I am trying to help you** " the beast shouted, grabbing Nilesy by the neck and lifting him up. " **Submit to me, or I will turn you into another tree for my fore-** "

 

The creature was interrupted by an angry yell from behind it.

 

"Just what in the high fuck are you doing, Ly?" It scolded. Nilesy and Zoeya looked at each other in confusion.

 

"Uh..." The entity murmured. "I do not know who this 'Lying' character is, but I would sugges-" The beast stopped when it saw that the angry challenger was carrying a metal hatchet. "Okay Kirin calm the hell down. I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

 

"Lying, have you been scaring these people?" Kirin asked sternly.

 

"That's none of your business, why do you have a hatchet?"

 

"We arranged to go get some wood for the fire. You didn't show up..."

 

Totally-Not-Lying turned toward the now much less terrified pair behind them. They sighed. "Damnit. Guess I don't need this anymore." They muttered, and snapped their fingers. The shadowy figure disappeared, and in it's place stood a rather angry looking Lying.

 

"Lying, you best go back home. Right now." Kirin ordered. Lying made a 'Hmph' sound in response and walked off.

 

Nilesy and Zoeya began to laugh.

 

"Sorry about all that," Kirin smiled comfortingly at the pair, "I see you are hurt. Would you like me to lead you back home?"

 

"Yeah, definitely." Zoeya answered. Nilesy nodded his head.

 

* * *

 

 

As Kirin led the not-lost-anymore pair through the dark woods, Zoeya spotted a bright red object on the ground. "Could it be?!" She exclaimed, kneeling down to inspect it. Sure enough, it was a large, beautiful  _Amanita muscaria_. Zoeya squealed in excitement, and took it off of the ground.  _Perfect_ , she thought, and popped the mushroom in her pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> i have literally never watched anything by lying or kirin and only know what they're like because of a discord server. If i buggered them up, then tell me.


End file.
